(to the tune of “What Is a Man?”)
There are so many, so many
Hedge funds to choose
Which one is the best hedge fund for me?
They all are long-and-short, as far as I can see
Seven thousands funds, one strategy.
There is no risk
None whatsoever
Win, lose or draw
They take my fees
I’ll prob’ly lose all my money
Something about it seems funny.
There is no risk
With a long-short fund
They charge me fees,
’cause they are so good.
Thank goodness I’m in a long-short fund!
They’ll take my fees,
Fees upon fees,
I give it all to them!
(spoken)
Five percent
Quite a low commission
Four percent management fee
Plus one-fifth
Of my profits
One-third if they’re good
Goodbye, goodbye gains!
What’s a good fund?
Is it a black hole?
Taking more fees
‘Till I’m bled dry?
Paying a bite to a fund of funds?
It’s a good deal,
Really a steal,
The manager wins in the end.