Payroll Friday

(to the tune of Manic Monday)
By George Zachar

Eight-thirty already?
I was just in the middle of a dream.
I was boinking Angelina in
My brand new G5 Gulfstream.

But I must wake up
because the payroll report just came
This is a day
When I so often get maimed.

It’s just another payroll Friday.
It never is my day.
Cause it’s a whip day.
My “why am I always wrong?” day.

Have to put my orders in
Got to pick my buys and sells.
And if I had tomorrow’s Times
I’d still never get a fill.

Cause the market seems to know
Just where I need to execute.
And that damn economist
Won’t stop talking on the hoot.

It’s just another payroll Friday.
It never is my day.
Cause it’s a whip day
My “why am I always wrong?” day.

Of all of the nights
why did Bernanke have to talk last night
with that frown?
Doesn’t it matter that the planet’s all geared up
and unemployment’s down?

He tells me as I’m ready to choke,
“C’mon markets, don’t you get the joke?”

Time it goes so slow
when you’re getting crushed….

It’s just another payroll Friday.
It never is my day.
Cause it’s a whip day
My “why am I always wrong?” day.